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I for Incubus
Synopsis Doctor Warlock runs down a darkened alley to escape from the agents of the Fist. He finds himself confronted by a Fist-man, who threatens him, but soon Dhiar appears and, after whipping an 'I' into a nearby propaganda poster and quoting Shakespeare, he chases off the agent. The world, Dhiar discovers, is plagued by a political group called the Teabag Consortium, who fund the Fist to remove the 'genetically-flawed'...in other words, anyone who disagrees with the Teabaggers' leader Ishihara. Dhiar is appalled. To make matters worse, the Doom League -- a group of villains -- has made demands and is holding the world ransom after the disappearance of the major heroes. All that is left are the heroes like Doctor Warlock...adult film adventurers. Dhiar reassures Doctor Warlock and takes the initiative. They teleport away. Meanwhile, Splatman and his two sidekicks, Dick Cox and Diablo, confront the villains Hardly Bent and Hyperbo Lee, who threaten secret identities with a large piece of technology called a defabricator. Splatman advances on the two, and Hyperbo Lee, startled and over-reacting as always, activates the defabricator, which manages to remove Diablo's main costume, but not his accessories or his mask. Dick uses a splatawhiz, a kind of thrown weapon, to knock Hyperbo Lee out. Dhiar is teleported in suddenly, and his appearance enchants Hardly Bent. Splatman turns the defabricator off, and Dhiar informs him of Doctor Warlock's need for his support. After some energy-gathering, Dhiar intends to rejoin his new friend. Meanwhile, Doctor Warlock clashes with Claxon and Treacle, but Abra-Cabanaboy arrives and pacifies them. Doctor Warlock brings Dhiar and the others back, and then he outfits Dhiar with a suitably heroic costume. The Incubus immediately embarks on a mission to recruit as many of the other adult-oriented heroes as he can, meeting with Lesbi-Anne, Cockblocker, Sugartits and her sidekick Honeydrawers, Assmaster, Iron Cunty, the Hooded Cock, the Allnighter, and Headlight Sally. Doctor Warlock patches Whoracle in through his magic, and Whoracle instructs Dhiar to contact another hero close by. Meanwhile, at the Teabaggers' secret laboratory in the Tuttle Tea factory, Ishihara orders them to unleash an experimental monster. Dhiar discovers Sue Ellen Beaver being harrassed by Fist men and uses his special aura on full power to stop them from harming anyone. Unfortunately, the Haslam creature arrives and wreaks havoc, which Sue Ellen uses her powers to stop. Hyperbo Lee wakes up, alone after Splatman and the others left with Dhiar. She dresses up and essentially robs the Leeman & Marxist store nearby, spouting inane rhetoric, and the Teabaggers present become enchanted with her. Meanwhile Ice Queen, owner of the Brimstone Room, meets with Teabagger protesters outside. He senses the battle nearby involving Dhiar and, using his psychic abilities, forces all the protesters to be completely honest with themselves and everyone else. Sue Ellen has fought Haslam to a standstill, and as Dhiar becomes concerned about the stalemate, Diabolus D. Devil and Twatina Tesseract arrive. Twatina produces a bazooka that fires porous neuro-neutral foam, which seals Haslam in a makeshift statue until something better can be developed. However, the DIXons arrive soon after, and they advance to attack. Diabolus and Dhiar fight against them, but more join their companions. However, the Metal Manhood arrives then and joins his power with their own. Just when it seems hopeless, Ice Queen immobilises the remaining DIXons with his telepathic abilities. Whoracle contacts Dhiar; she has traced the DIXons and the Haslam creature to Tuttle Tea, and Ishihara is linked with the disappearance of the other heroes and is coming on television to make an address. With the help of a psionic amplifier provided by Twatina, Ice Queen adds some psychic edits to Ishihara's half-truths, prompting people to think. At Teabagger headquarters, Hyperbo Lee grows tired of toying with them and leaves, much to the surprise of the Teabaggers, who had come to regard her as 'the one'. In the Tuttle Tea laboratory, Ishihara negotiates the reward for the Doom League...which is defeat, doled out to their leader, Derek Dirty. Dhiar suddenly appears, cloaked by Hidey Ho, who also reveals her presence. Ishihara shows the missing heroes have actually been conditioned to obey him, and Dhiar shows that it's not just himself and Hidey Ho: it's the full assembly of the adult film star heroes. A tremendous and desperate battle ensues, with Ishihara attempting to escape. He is pursued by Iron Cunty, who is tired of his political wrangling and hate; he tries to shoot her, but her power is invulnerability...hence her name. She slaps him unconscious, which helps Whoracle to break his influence on the heroes. Dhiar returns to Phantasies, with Uhr welcoming him back. Diabolus has been invited to come along, and he looks surprised at the shop. Meanwhile, Hyperbo Lee tells the Jerker about the Teabaggers, who are now bankrupt, with Ishihara publicly disgraced. References * Dhiar does not actually wear any clothing typical of him until the very last page of the story; he first appears in a Guy Fawkes costume, spends a significant time naked, and then wears his hero costume for the remainder of the chapter. * Dhiar's whip returns, although it has not yet had the time to grow back its thorns. * Dhiar is able to control the level at which his aura affects others and can even use it to mesmerise. * Dhiar slashes Ishihara's poster, which reads 'Join the Pure', in an I shape...which gives the chapter its name, as the 'I' represents 'Incubus'. * It, like the Guy Fawkes costume, the bonfire, and a quote upon first meeting, is a tip of the hat to the hero V, from V for Vendetta. * Behind Dhiar on the wall, next to the slashed poster, is graffiti that reads 'quis custodiet ipsos custodes'. This means 'who watches the watchmen?' and is an important question regarding accountability and corruption in government. * Dhiar's quoting is from Shakespeare's 'All's Well That Ends Well', a persuasive speech from the heroine Helena. While in the original context it is used to encourage the king to acquiesce to her treatment of his disease, here Dhiar uses it much as 'quis custodiet ipsos custodes' in his assessment of the situation, which adds a hopefulness that despite things being bad, hope springs eternal. Category:Adventures